my sisters under your porch take her home
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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