Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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