Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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