my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize