Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
Good news. That bum you thought that died is alive.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
So vagazzling was a success
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