She is in my trunk
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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