i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize