We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
YOU'RE FORCING ME TO BLOW A GUY BY NOT ANSWERING MY CALLS
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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