So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
Randomize
