i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Is she still on a quest to lick every stranger that enters the bar, or have the restraining orders reached critical mass?
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
Randomize
