Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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