oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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