i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Randomize