my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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