I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize