I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
