he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
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