Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Umm I'm too high to move.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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