i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize