I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize
