All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
