Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Randomize