so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
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