sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
