how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
