id be glad to
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
so i was supposed to be to work at 8..but its 9:15 and im currently standing stoned in the middle of holiday...with a bag with three doughnuts, two redbulls, and a slim jim..
god i miss watching you do this...
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize
