Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
My friends, they love my intelligence
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize