i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
We found you naked curled up in a ball in the closet, using a gorilla suit as a blanket
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
