I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
I just saw a raccoon get launched out of a tree by another raccoon. They have turf wars...
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
