If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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