We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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