can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
Randomize
