OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
