plz talk dirty to me
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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