Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Well I just put wine in my tea
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
