just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize