mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
