So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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