I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
To get him to come she paid for his uber and promised that someone in the house would give him head. it worked
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
