Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
I have no idea how I got home or why I am naked but I assume I owe you a thank you...
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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