so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
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