He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Randomize
