I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
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