Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
Randomize
