jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So topless strobe light beer pong turned into me rugby tackling a bitch to the ground.my tits will never forgive me for sacrificing their majesticness for responsibility
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
