Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Randomize
