I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
Randomize
