I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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