apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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