okay pat passed out under dana's car
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
