We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
