Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
It's official, I've know hooked up with everyone I carpooled with in middle school
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
