I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize