Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
Randomize
