after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
