If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
nutella sex= disaster
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize