Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
