i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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