can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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