This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Mom said you looked used
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
Your cock deserves a montage
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
