Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Who's phone is in my pants and why did I wake up clutching a handle of vlad?
Randomize
