I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
