Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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