You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I cockslap morals
new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize