He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Mom is telling us about the time she drank her own breast milk. Help.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
