Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
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