I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
