Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
