I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Randomize
