pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
birth control should be required to get into college
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
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