I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
