DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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