i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he fucked my hip out of place.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
Randomize
