North Korea, Best Korea!
the next time i see a chick with leggings under her jean skirt...i'm gona beat her ass with a fashion magazine...
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I can't, I'm busy. I've been walking around Tokyo on google maps for an hour.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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