I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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