i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Walk of shame. Stopped at an estate sale on the way back to the house. Old lady pulled a condom wrapper of the back of my hoodie. beat that
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
Randomize
